So where do you start with a new Weezer record? I honestly just don’t know. The first two records were brilliant, the next two nearly as good and much bigger sounding, and the latest three confusingly nothing really. Weezer are the band who refuse to grow up as people and, more disappointingly, refuse to grow musically. They are the embarrassing dad dance at a wedding, they are the teacher who swears just to be cool, they are aged 39-44 and are pictured on the back of their latest record in hoodies on BMXs riding down some abandoned waterway. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with growing old disgracefully, but these guys are just not growing old at all…

The main problem is that there is no way Rivers Cuomo does the things he sings about, and I doubt has done for the 15 years since the debut album was released. Oh, and the other big problem is that the songs are guitar pop by numbers with lyrics that would not be out of place on a Robbie Williams record, and music to match. When you consider that Rivers ran out of decent riffs seven years and three records ago, the fact that he is still pushing such basic rock rules without any invention is just downright depressing.

Weezer do make fun videos - or rather they used to make fun and innovative videos, with Buddy Holly springing to mind. Now, and for some time, they only seem to make slightly amusing videos to prove that they are still as young as they yearn to be in the songs. They try and be the crazy guys, but when you are pushing the crazy musician envelope, you have to also push the music as well, not just play the same old regulation songs record after record. Pure musical insanity and by the same definition, genius, is not found on the latest Weezer record, it is found on the latest Flaming Lips record. There doesn’t even seem to be a desire in Weezer to explore and develop. They are Oasis for skateboarders - from 15 years ago. However, even Noel Gallagher realised he was running short of ideas and let the other guys write some tunes, something which Rivers is yet to realise, although he does have a few co-writers on this record. But what impact they have had is questionable because Jacknife Lee, Lil Wayne and Butch Walker are much better than any of the songs on show here.

There is one moment on the record where it seems like perhaps Rivers is on the verge of confessing, rather like in Futurama when Slurms McKenzie drops his sunglasses and bloodshot eyes after years of non-stop partying, saying, ‘enough is enough.’ That comes on the Lil Wayne featured “Can’t Stop Partying”, which is delivered with the ever-so-subtle hint of a plea for help. But it is also so subtle that it will go unnoticed, and mean we have at least another five ‘party’ records before Rivers finally gets serious, or at the very least, interesting.

Then all of a sudden on “Love Is the Answer (Hindi version)”, co-written by Jacknife Lee, it seems to feel like there is something a bit more than just the same old regulation guitar pop, but what it actually turns into is one of the dullest Weezer songs ever written with an ill fitting-song shoehorned in-between the boredom. It is as if they had half a song and just couldn’t find a catchy chorus for it so decided to mess with our heads by being a bit crazy and throwing in some bollywood - but as I have said before, The Flaming Lips are crazy, this is just embarrassing.

The secret to this could be the impact of the second Weezer record, and for many, their best by some margin. PINKKERTON was written amid recovery from leg surgery and there is a dark spirit throughout the record. However, the key is that it was a commercial failure, and at the time a critical one as well, although is now much more highly regarded. It is easy to think that Rivers did not like the criticism so has stayed on the light side ever since.

One day Rivers Cuomo will decide it is time to grow up, but until then, if you want to buy a Weezer record, buy the second then the first and avoid the latest three at all costs with the single exception of “Everybody Get Dangerous” from the 2008 record “Weezer (The Red Album)”. The two in the middle are far more exciting records if you don’t know what they did next, and just pretend that we are still waiting for record number five.

Now I like Weezer, and I would even go as far as to say this is actually not a bad album, it is dull, but not bad. However, there is just no need for it to exist. I was concerned that I just don’t get the joke anymore, but soon realised that it is not me and the joke is just not that funny. Young people want guitar party bands to be there own age and sing about things they themselves have experienced, and be interesting to watch and listen to. Young people are not thick, they want their musicians to give them something to believe in and challenge them. The original Weezer fans, such as myself, have simply grown out of them, and I am very sad indeed to say that.

3/5