I don’t know you, so I don’t know where you stand or sit on The Darkness. They bubbled under for so long, then suddenly they were everyone’s fave new rock band, or everyone’s fave new joke rock band. Many people around me at the time sounded like John McEnroe ‘You cannot be serious!’ with their falsetto vocals, catsuits - Son of Dave Lee Roth fronts Queen wanabies! The singer’s name is Justin Hawkins, Justin! Justin!. Who the fuck calls their kid Justin? Mr & Mrs Hawkins actually, shhurley some mistake! Well, NO! because one thing the band is about is FUN! They made me smile; sure I’d seen it all before; I’m old enough to have seen every band that The Darkness were compared to, or influenced by, but I could not give a Flying Fuck. I miss big, dumb, fun rock ‘n’ roll!

So after going from small clubs to arenas here in the UK in 18 months, could they repeat the formula and survive? You better fuckin’ believe it, clocking in at 35 minutes – yes, you read that right - 10 songs, all of them quite simply awesome (they are not long enough to be crap). You don’t have time to be bored, opening single and title track ‘One Way Ticket’ is a fist throwing, mutha’ fucker of a stomper! If you thought any track off the debut was big and dumb, fuck me, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet, b-b-b-baby, you just ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. It’s part Kiss, part Boston, part Queen, but for the most part The Darkness.

Now the Q word is the one that gets thrown about with the band so much. Freddie Mercury was… well Freddie, Justin is no Fred, but that’s ok, because he’s just being Justin! And doing what only he knows how to - don’t compare, don’t judge, just fuckin’ enjoy. The album has been produced by Roy Thomas Baker, yes, that’s another Q connection. Roy produced much of Queen’s mid 70’s kitchen sink and all albums, hence the appearance of a stylophone on one track, while Big Country style ‘Hazel Eyes’ has guitars that might be bagpipes! But the production on the record is big, make that BIG; the guitars for the most part sound like Thin Lizzy; and don’t sound like they are played by one man. Dan Hawkins has come into a league of his own on this record, as has brother Justin, as he confidently sways and struts his way through the album like a man on hellfire - mooted second single ‘Knockers’ is something straight out of ‘HIGHWAY TO HELL’

So there you have it, the ‘difficult’ second album, fuck right off, this is a piece of piss (the album cover art is very clever). If Meat Loaf went like a ‘BAT OUT OF HELL’ into the fire in the late 70’s, then The Darkness got the ticket back, - maybe Jim Steinman (writer and producer of Bat) will get a call for album #3, now there’s a thought, ‘Back Into Hell‘? They could then get Bob Ezrin (Alice/Kiss) for #4, Mutt Lange (AC/DC/Def Leppard) for #5, Ted Templeman (Van Halen) for #6, Tony Visconti (Bowie/Bolan) for #7; keep Tony around for a co-produced ‘Live’ album (with someone who worked on ‘LIVE & DANGEROUS’ - Thin Lizzy). No matter where they or you will be in 10 years, for now this is THE Rock record of 2005, go on smile, you know you want to.

The future’s bright, the future’s Darkness!

Jj-2005