What is it about Lily Allan that makes her the darling of the print and broadcast media? And what is it about this free and substantial publicity (that has made her financially) which she seems to criticise so much in this album? In the past two days she has featured on BBC2’s Friday cultural review and BBC Radio 4’s Saturday night review programme with some heavy and complementary analysis taking place. Ultimately I wonder why we have lowered our expectations so much in recent years.

Recently I watched a Channel 4 music talent contest series and was dumbfounded by ‘judges’ who bestowed so much praise on finalists who not so many years ago would have been lucky to achieve a pub slot. Lily Allen performed during the final and despite being backed by a live band appeared to mime…

Lily Allen’s first album I found totally forgettable and her various live appearances uninspiring. Hell, even a boozed-up Whitehouse outperformed her. Let’s start with the title of Allen’s new album – ‘IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU’ – which should have been titled ‘IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME’… Now Allen is not some pubescent teenager but that’s what she sounds like here. Take the opening track ‘Everyone’s On It’ which offers an immature and uninformed observation on drug abuse. For Allen the solution is, “How can we start to tackle the problem/If you don’t put your hands up and admit you’re on them…” It’s about as shallow a statement as can be, and from what I’ve heard Lily likes a tipple or two and the odd fag… It’s juvenile garbage although Greg Kurstin’s tune and production are pretty good. ‘The Fear’ has a great tune but ‘I want to be rich and I want loads of money/I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny/I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds/I hear people die while they’re trying to find them…’ It gets worse…

‘Not Fair’ takes on a cowboy musical theme as she sings about a boyfriend who treats her with respect and calls her 15 times a day to make sure she’s fine and in return she spends ages giving head… Then he’s really mean and makes her scream. It’s awful. The best song here is ‘Who’d Have Known’ with its decent lyrics and more modest production. Worst song? The Anti-Bush ‘Fuck You’ – “You say we need to go to war/Well you’re already in one/Cause it’s people like you/That need to get slew…” Songs don’t get much worse than this… Vocally Allen has a cute, childish voice that lacks expression and range; very one-dimensional. Co-writer and producer Greg Kurstin has thrown every style of music into the pot so there’s diversity which is always welcome, while his production is generally over-the-top and grates almost as much as the song lyrics (and that ‘cute’ voice). With the media coverage and airplay the album is receiving it will sell in truckloads, but to me it’s reprehensible and regrettable that such little talent can generate such big bucks. Come back Kate Nash…

2/5