When I heard the first single cut from Coldplay’s new and rather belated third album, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was so mediocre I wondered whether it would have even made it into the band’s first album. But then it probably would have done as it is exactly what the record company doctor ordered; ‘make it light, radio-friendly, inoffensive and hook-laden.’ And while I was thinking that the single was poor, everybody else seems to be praising it to high hell… So what the hell is happening here? Perhaps I’m wrong? I do like Coldplay and sang Yellow to death for ages after it was released. The album didn’t impress, but the second album and a good live festival performance convinced me that this was a band a cut above the ordinary. Am I biased? I don’t think so. One of my favourite bands is Radiohead but I still found it in my heart to heavily criticise the last album, although it did glisten with the band’s irrepressible taste for adventure. This morning I received Coldplay’s full new album and after a couple of spins wondered whether Martin’s honourable and outspoken stand on Fair Trade for Third World countries had been overlooked when it came to his fans…

But first I went back to RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD and was reminded on just what this band is capable of with opening track Politik, and those fabulous, pounding piano notes. There was a sense of the new about this song and several others on the album. The band took some risks which ultimately paid off. The new album is undoubtedly one of the most important releases of 2005 and before listening to it I went onto the Internet to see what other people thought (after reading the glowing reviews in UK’s serious press at the weekend). I came across a chat site that mentioned a review from America’s Rolling Stone magazine whose best days are way back in the past. I read the largely critical review (the magazine awarded 3/5) and then the fan responses to it. They were scathing and concluded with the prognosis that anybody that didn’t like the new Coldplay album must be deaf and rather stupid…

That worried me. Immediately I thought that the media would praise the album so that print sales wouldn’t be lost to disgruntled Coldplay fans. After listening to the last album I placed the new one in the CD player hoping that I would be inspired and that Rolling Stone had got it oh so wrong. At the back of my mind was the memory of that dreadful new single and the fact that this album had taken so long to produce (3 years and after one false start) - a really bad sign.

Opening track Square One opens with a dreamy orchestral sequence before Martin’s easy tones click in. The band then takes over as Martin’s echoed voice soars into oblivion. It’s a terribly dated song with nothing to recommend it accept that the lyrics are quasi-sensible and Martin is in good voice. What If is a simpler piano pop ballad with a sincere set of lyrics and honest vibe aimed no doubt at his wife or child. It’s the sort of song that Martin probably wrote very quickly in tone of those pensive, romantic moments. It’s not bad but really nothing special. White Shadows is next up and opens with pounding drums before the singer describes his younger days and “something’s missing…” It’s just a mess of sound with no direction and precious little melody. Piano-led Fix You is next turned out to be the pick of the album although it’s the sort of song you could swear you’ve heard before. It’s also another one of those songs that could have been written very quickly in a state of high emotion, and euphoria. The middle-eight signals a crescendo of rock instrumentals that add power and depth to the song before Martin returns to quietly conclude the song. This will undoubtedly be the next single and rightly so.

Next up is Talk with its folky/Celt opening but eventually ends up gong nowhere save for another set of sincere-sounding lyrics, and another strong vocal performance. Title track X&Y is a little different but with lyrics like “You and me are drifting into outer space… You and me are drifting on a tidal wave” the song sinks to previously unplumbed Coldplay depths. Then it’s the turn of single Speed Of Sound to hammer another nail into this musical coffin. A Message is PARACHUTES material and not of this era. Low is awful and pointless. The Hardest Part wins my vote as worst track of the album and echoes my feelings on listening to this poor effort. And at that point I nearly gave up trying to sort this one out.

I concluded that Rolling Stone had been generous and that everybody else must have been high on something. I’ve heard much better albums from bands this year with a tiny amount of Coldplay’s financial and PR clout, while fans should (but unfortunately won’t) feel short-changed. Radiohead, where are you?

2/5