Ratt (for some bizarre reason of inter-band copyright fighting no doubt, billed as the artist Rat Attack) own two spots. I’m Insane and Round and Round. Aronofsky must be something of a fan - both songs occupy high spots within the movie itself and serve to enhance the moment in a good way rather than silhouetting the low points of Randy’s life. Who, with even half a memory of those days, can resist getting on down to Round and Round. Thus, this golden movie moment wins “Soundtrack High Point” award. I’m not entirely sure if Ratt ever had a high point as a band though. They moved very fast and very directly to their high point and wound up with nothing. Even less than Motley Crue at their lowest. Where they more dangerous than the Crue? Not at all, but then they were a much weaker unit as people. You’d think twice about squaring up with somebody in the Crue but I reckon even the lightest kid on the block would fancy his chances with at least a couple of Ratt members. Shame really because Ratt wrote about a million better tunes than Motley Crue did in the eighties. The point is probably best illustrated if I said my mother knows who Motley Crue are…

To wrap up our jaunt into the underbelly of the eighties, the inclusion of Guns n Roses in the movie is wrong, wrong, wrong. After such a great start, surely there are hundreds - probably thousands - of songs Aronofsky could have chosen at this point - if the weight of goodness were not on his side, he would have seriously blown it with this stunt. G’n'R is not an inspired choice for any reason at all. Given the context of when it plays in the movie, it would have been leaner and keener to have plumbed for something like W.A.S.P. or Faster Pussycat. A few reasons for this. The main one being that it would have kept the segregation going between us and them, which I kinda like. It may have been a cult thing at the time but ultimately, Sweet Child went on to be one of the most recognised songs in the galaxy. I don’t see Randy panning it out like that. If we hadn’t had the Quiet Riot/Accept set up, it may have been OK, but he has already identified himself as a bone fide metal head. Nobody who owns an Accept cassette would rate G’n'R this highly. Faster Pussycat’s Bathroom Wall would have been inspired by the Gods of Wrestling themselves.

So my friends. Gather close and let me tell you the moral of the story: When you’re flying away at the speed of light with some cheese in your mouth, don’t stop to talk and brag about it. You’ll drop it. Something like that anyway.

* Footnote: Throughout this article and indeed my life, I have been a staunch supporter of what is generically termed as ‘Metal from the Strip’, sometimes to the point of my own integrity being at risk. Therefore I must reiterate an important point from above so that there is no mistake in the future. Accept’s ‘Balls to the Wall’ is simply the worst example of a rock ’song’ ever to be released. I would rather eat a live badger than ever hear it again. Thanks for listening.

Sion Smith