IS THE TRUTH SO HARD TO TELL?

Like millions around the country, I listened to the final stage of Radio 1’s singles chart show to see if the little people on Facebook had managed to change the X-Factor habit. It was a rather special chart result as not only was it the Christmas edition but also the final chart of the decade. The result was nothing short of startling and the presenter (Scott Mills) whispered the number two position as if apologising… Despite widely publicised announcements from Simon Cowell, huge hype, prominent retail display, a final TV audience of 19 million, and a giveaway price for the single, it had failed, and a ten-year-old, so-so song from Rage Against The Machine had won. In truth, the X-Factor winner may have triumphed if his song was not so mundane. As I prepared for my own radio session, I continued to listen to Radio 1 and the next show co-hosted by veteran Annie Nightingale. Florence of Florence And The Machine appeared for an interview and live performance of a Christmas song. It was one of the worst performances I have ever heard from a mega-hyped artist, indeed any artist. It was as though the BBC had picked up someone from the street and asked them to sing live on radio… It was Karaoke at its worst, but despite this her performance was met with squeals of delight from a studio audience and acclaimed by the presenter. I wondered what planet I was on…

A few weeks ago the Telegraphs pop music writer, Neil McCormack, contributed his Albums Of The Year in a page-long feature. His sub-head ended in the words, “starting with a tricky year in rock ‘n’ roll.” In discussing pop in 2009, he continued, “It is the time of the year when critics attempt to impose some kind of formal order on events and establish a ranking system that somehow correlates with our shared listening experience.” I puzzled over this statement. After heaping praise on Lily Allen and Lady Ga Ga, he then went on to conclude, “So this year, I have decided to offer an entirely personal and subjective list, based purely on the albums I have listened to most. I don’t know if you can call them albums of the year, but, if you share some of my tastes and passions for music, then you won’t be disappointed.” Lily Allen and Lady Ga Ga were nowhere to be seen. Confused? Look, what better recommendation can there be than, ‘… albums I have listened to most’? So, in the final few column inches he summed up what it should be about, but he had to please somebody by spending more time writing about artists he didn’t listen to.

Oh, and just in case you missed something Neil, 2009 was one of the best rock ‘n’ roll years ever… Where the hell were you? I know, listening to Radio 1…

DROWNED IN CONFUSION…

One website’s top 50 albums of the year is not actaully that bad, but, the editor also writes a regular column in the Sunday Times Culture section… In his last piece he described Sufjan Stevens as “…one of the greatest songwriters of my generation…” Stevens’ album ‘the BQE’ only managed a paultry 48 in the editor’s 50 best of 2009, and 6th in his 2006 top 10 list with ‘ILLINOIS.’ So what came top in his 2009 list? The Phoenix album, described as: “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix (9/10 Review) is an utter masterclass in sophisticated songwriting which they have honed and developed over the past decade and finds Phoenix almost too good for British TV or the radio, in an age of co-writers, talentless upstarts and pop mediocrity, with whom they’re battling for air-time.” Now we also included it in our top 80 but close to the bottom of the list. The reason? Check out the lyrics to the album’s lead song and see if you can make sense of them:

Lisztomania
So sentimental
Not sentimental no!
Romantic not disgusting yet
Darling I’m down and lonely
When with the fortunate only
I’ve been looking for something else
Do let do let do let jugulate do let do let do

Let’s go slowly, discouraged,
Distant from other interests
On your favorite weekend ending
This love’s for gentlemen only
That’s with the fortunate only
No I gotta be someone else
These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes and goes

Lisztomania
Think less but see it grow
Like a riot, like a riot, Oh!
I’m not easily offended
It’s not hard to let it go
From a mess to the masses

‘An utter masterclass in sophisticated songwriting…’?

Here’s another example:

1901
Counting all different ideas drifting away
Past and present - they don’t matter.
Now the future’s sorted out
Watch, you’re moving in elliptical pattern
Think it’s not what you say
What you say is way too complicated
For a minute thought I couldn’t tell how to fall out.

It’s 20 seconds ’til the last call, going “hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey”
Lie down, you know it’s easy like we did it all summer long
And I’ll be anything you ask and more, going “hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey”
It’s not a miracle we needed, and no I wouldn’t let you think so
Falling, falling, falling, falling

Girlfriend, you know your girlfriend’s drifting away
Past and present, 1855 -1901
Watch them build up a material tower
Think it’s not gonna stay anyway
Think it’s overrated
For a minute, thought I couldn’t tell how to fall out

Confused? Tell me about it… They are some of the worst lyrics I have ever heard. Look, all I’m really saying here is that consistency is a fundamental discipline, especially when it comes to seeking out and identifying the best. All too often one finds contradictory statements made that render so much of what’s written unbelieveable. And Sean, since when have British mainstream radio broadcasters chosen play-lists based on great song-writing?